There is an old 1970’s psychology study about monkeys and learned behavior. This blog tells it simply and if you can make the time, read and reflect on it.
The gist is, I believe we are a lot of new monkeys and occasionally we get beat by the other monkeys. It is going to happen and I don’t know of a way to avoid it. When this happens, we must ask the other monkeys ‘why’ and not join the mob because ‘that is what we do’. Do not accept that as an answer.
This means we take some beatings, so be it. We will live and come out the other side stronger for it. Eventually we will get our banana. Go for the banana when there isn’t a real reason not to and always question 'why'. Remember that forgiveness is often easier to obtain than permission.
The scientific study is a real thing, not just a story: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Did_the_monkey_banana_and_water_spray_experiment_ever_take_place